Let's Revel In Each Other's Misery
by CrimsonPearlAlice
Summary: William sees Aelita run from the school grounds early one morning in tears. Determined to do something right since the fall of X.A.N.A. and disappearance of Tyron, William goes out on a limb and follows her. Contains Evolution spoilers.


His legs continued to run, his feet pounding the ground in a rhythmic motion as he chased her down the spiral cliffs of the desert sector, fighting for breath and gritting his teeth at the intense weight of the Zweihander resting across his back and on his right shoulder, and just when he thought he was about to collapse and fall the rest of the way down the cliff face, rolling feet over head over and over again until slipping back into the digital sea, his prison, he continued running. Xana was a computer program, after all, and didn't feel William's exhaustion.

Yumi was cornered, her fans had long since flown off, killing one of the tarantulas nearby but failing to return back to their owner. He ran up to her, trapping her against the cliff, with nowhere to go but down into the digital sea. William wanted to yell out, he wouldn't be able to stand it if she was trapped inside Lyoko like he was, the thought alone was enough for him to need to catch his breath, to try to stop how agonizing that thought was, but he couldn't. He couldn't do _anything._ He wished he could feel nothing, but all he could do was swallow his fear and fight. Yumi took half a step back and realized just how close to the edge she was and her hands flew backwards in a windmill motion to stop herself. He reached up a hand to caress her cheek, and her eyes softened. One hand reached up to meet his and William wanted more than anything to go back to before he was trapped, when he was ignorant and knew nothing of Lyoko and Yumi was his and not Ulrich's, but he couldn't. Even if they did launch a return to the past he would remain Xana's prisoner. He missed the little things, like giving her a flower on a random day because he felt like being romantic, and she would smile up at him- one of her rare genuine ones- and kiss him on the cheek. But things couldn't go back.

William reached out and pushed her backwards, off the cliff, and she let out a terrified scream, grabbing onto William and pulling him down with her. In a way William was relieved, if he was incapacitated, then he couldn't attempt to kill any of them, but now he was going to, Yumi was going to fall into the digital sea- unless Jeremie could devirtualize her in time, yes, he would do that- he would- but the yellow glow of the ocean was looming closer, and Yumi's screams wasn't stopping- why weren't they stopping? They should- Jeremie was going to pull her out in time- there was a rumble, a splash, and her screaming stopped. William rolled and his smoke caught him, his gift from Xana, and he starred down at where the sea was still rippling, a harsh laughter than wasn't his escaped his throat-

_"Why didn't you save her?" _His own voice tore through the silence of his dorm room as he shot up, cursing Jeremie and his hand reaching out as if he could catch her, and his eyes trying to blink away the darkness, before realizing that he was at Kadic, everything was gone, everything was fine. Yumi was fine- wasn't she? William jumped out of bed and tripped on the sheets that had been kicked on the floor, he caught himself on his desk and stumbled, his knees shaking and his hands unsteady as he tugged his phone away from the charger. He dialed her number and held his phone up to his ear, realized he forgot to hit the send button and set the phone back down. He looked at the clock, 3:48 a.m. He didn't want to wake her up, it had just been a nightmare, she was fine. He would see her at breakfast in a little more than four hours. He could wait.

He took in a shuddering breath and replayed the actions of his dream in his head. Ever since being rescued, he had periodically been having dreams about what he did while he was possessed, but often times his imagination would stretch things so that they were worse than what actually happened, and in this case his mind had made him think he killed Yumi, when in reality she had been devirtualized before she could fall into the digital sea, much to William's relief and Xana's dismay. It had been over a year, and he had basically remembered everything that happened, and in a way, Xana coming back was enough to distract him from his wrongdoings, and allow him to focus on righting everything. But now that Xana was gone once again, he couldn't focus on anything. School was dragging on as always and prom was coming up, so everyone was gushing about it constantly, whereas William couldn't care less. William didn't really have any friends other than the warriors, and all of them were either dating or very obviously interested in somebody else, which left him as a very awkward seventh wheel. He had expressed this briefly to Odd the other day when the younger boy had asked him if he had any plans, and he suggested asking Laura, to which William kicked the chair out from under him and walked away. They would have to be the last people alive for William to even consider getting together with her. But if prom was a distraction, then he would do his best to stretch it to the limit.

The second the clock his six William headed out of his dorm and onto the campus, out into the courtyard. He found a bench near the coffee machine and sat down, his wrinkled shirt too small and jeans too large. He would never admit it, but he hated being alone more than anything else. Then he was left to his own thoughts and would tear himself apart. He took out his ipod and put it on shuffle, listening to whatever song happened to come one next as he glanced around, there was still yet to be another soul awake at Kadic, since breakfast didn't start for another two hours seeing as it was Saturday, and even then most people weren't wandering around until at least nine.

That is, except for the light pair of footsteps that could faintly be heard over his music coming from behind him. He sat up and turned around quietly, not wanting to be seen watching whoever it was, especially after noticing that Whoever It Was, was actually Aelita, running through the campus gates and off in some direction through the woods behind the school. He raised an eyebrow and without thinking followed her. He didn't think there was anything of interest back there, unless she was looking for an escape from everything, which wouldn't really surprise him. But even so, he followed her anyways. He knew that she liked being alone as much as he did, and although neither of them liked to admit it at times they both just needed someone to be with them, even if they didn't talk at all.

He followed her for a good thirty minutes, Aelita would alternate from walking and running, and at times he thought he could hear her let out a sob, but after a while her crying ceased and she simply continued on in silence. He made sure to stay a good fifty yards or so behind her so she wouldn't hear him, but she didn't give any signs of realizing she was being followed.

Eventually the trees began to clear, and William's mouth fell open when he found an old abandoned house standing in the middle of the forest. It was large, two stories, with a black metal fence surrounding it, with a plaque labeled Hermitage in front. The front door slammed shut and William looked up, to see a mop of pink hair running inside through the main window. William stopped looking around and followed her up the path towards the house and onto the deck, flinching when the wood heaved and threatened to give way as he walked up the stairs towards the front door. Gently he pulled the door open and was greeted with a wave of dust, the inside of the house was in shambled, a broken desk thrown into the corner and shattered glass littered the floor, everywhere he looked there was a layer of dirt, even on the rug that ran the length of the main hallway. There was no light other than that coming in behind him and that of a small window perched above the staircase. There was a room off to the side that held a couch and a piano, but after not spotting the younger girl inside he continued on up the stairs, and the sounds of Aelita's cries grew louder once again. Finally, he reached a door off to the side of the stairs on the second floor, and peeked inside. She was curled up next to a tattered bed with messed up sheets and a broken headboard, her head resting on her knees, shoulders shaking. But now that he saw her, he stood frozen, unsure of what to say. 'Hey I saw you run off crying, and I thought you might want to talk, you know, seeing as we never have personal conversations I figured this would be a good time so start.' But, he figured there wasn't really a way he could mess this up, so he opened the door, not really bothering to be quiet, and walked inside. The walls were a light pink and there were many drawings and stuffed animals and books around, many of which were on the floor with various broken photographs.

"Um... Aelita...?"

Before he had the chance to say anything else she sighed and twisted around so fast William thought she was going to break something. "Jeremie _go away!_ You don't honestly think that every time something is wrong you can just show up and pretend like everything-" She immediately stopped and her eyes visibly widened before her entire body tensed up. "Oh... William... um- I'm sorry- I just-it's-"

William was dumbstruck, and for many moments stood there gapping, hoping that Aelita never got mad enough to start screaming at him like that. "It's okay..." he hesitated for many moments before walking inside farther and standing in the middle of the room, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Is everything alright?" He knew the answer to that question was obviously no because she was crying, but he wasn't exactly sure what else to say. The most in depth conversation he had alone with the girl was probably her begging him to snap out of his possession so he would stop trying to kill her, so this was a pretty big, sudden step up from that.

She took a deep breath, tried to regain her composure, sat there in silence, unmoving, for a few seconds, and then broke down again, a sob tearing its way through her throat. "No, everything is not okay!"

She shuddered and crossed her arms over her chest, almost as if she was hugging herself, and William noticed just how red her face and eyes were. He continued to stand there before sucking in a breath and holding it as he forced himself to sit down next to the girl, a good foot of space between them. "Do you... want to talk about it...?" Oh if William had known it was going to be this awkward he _never _would have come. He had proved his worth to the Lyoko Warriors, so why was he pushing his luck?

But Aelita didn't appear to have heard him at all, and was still stuck on his last question. "Why would you _honestly _think everything is alright?"

"Because Xana is temporarily gone-"

"Exactly! He's _temporarily _gone. He'll come back the second Tyron turns his supercomputer back on, and then what? We have to start fighting all over again! I just want a normal life for once, William, for once-"

William shuffled uncomfortably under the smaller girl's gaze. "Well, before the supercomputer turned on, didn't you and your father have a semi-"

"No! We did not have a normal life! I will never have a normal life, and no one seems to understand that! We were in France, then Tyron betrayed my father and we had to go on the run, then in Colorado, my mother was kidnapped, then back here, I was trapped in Lyoko for ten years! Ten years, William I should be almost 27 William! I should be married, living a normal life where I don't have a computer program breathing down my neck! Where Tyron isn't my legal guardian and waiting for the right time to come in and carry me off to where ever it is that he's hiding. If he were to take it to court then I would be out of here in a second and be in Tyron's custody! Aelita Schaeffer died thirteen years ago on every legal document I've looked at. Do you understand how much of a mess I'm in? How much of a mess I've gotten all of your in? let alone my mother being forced to marry Tyron and now I've lost any way of contacting her- how can you possibly think that everything in alright?" Aelita ran a hand through her hair and tried to take a breath, but it caught in her throat and turned into another sob. "And now I'm having nightmares again, and I go into Jeremie's room to talk to him but I see he's in there programming with Laura! I thought that after we erased her memory she would be out of our hair but apparently the two kicked it off just like last time!"

William didn't even dare move, let alone open his mouth to say something. He had never heard Aelita talk for that long without interruption about anything, yet alone rant. William looked at her out of the corner of his eye and found her starring at him, as if waiting for him to say something, anything, but he didn't trust himself to say the right thing. he swallowed thickly and looked away. "I'm sorry." More silence, and William felt as if he wasn't going to get much of a chance to talk so he continued on blindly. "I don't know what to say, other than you really need a vacation."

Aelita's mouth fell open in shock, and it looked as if another round of tears were about to fall out of her eyes any second, and just when William was certain they were going to do so, she laughed. Not a full fledged laugh, but a tiny chuckle, barely audible, but still present. "I guess I do. But I can't take one, not with Xana possibly coming back any time-"

"Aelita..." William sighed, and turned to face the pink haired girl once again. "You can't keep constantly be asking yourself 'what if?' That won't get you anywhere. Just... live in the moment."

She shook her head. "Everyone always says that, and it always seems like a good idea, but no one seems to be able to do it."

"I guess you're right. I wish I knew how to help, I really do, but I don't. I can never say the right things, you know that."

"Don't let Ulrich hear you say that though, he would never let you hear the end of it."

He gave a small nod. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He leaned back against the bedding and looked out the window, he guessed a little less than an hour had passed, but he was in no hurry to get back to school. Besides, leaving Aelita after she had just blown up like she did seemed like a very bad idea. "Why did you come here?"

Aelita's lip quivered, and just like she, her eyes appeared watery once again. "This was my old house, before I was virtualized for the first time. This was my room, thirteen years ago." William froze, and suddenly the shattered pictures and discarded toys had a whole new meaning to them that made his stomach do back flips. "The last time I saw it... was when they came and tried to take my father away, and he virtualized me onto Lyoko, before shutting down the supercomputer."

William ran a hand across the crumpled bedding, and felt the need to throw it up into the air and shake the dust out of it. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

Now it was William's turn to frown. He narrowed his eyes at her, his hand balling into a fist around the bedding. "Oh, you're telling me there's nothing to be sorry about? I could live the rest of my life apologizing to everyone for how much I've hurt them, and even then it still wouldn't be enough-" Aelita wiped her eyes and looked at him, eyebrows furrowed together.

"No we all forgive you-"

"So you forgive me for what I had no control over? You're saying that it _was_ all my fault-"

"No that's not what I'm saying, but you just said-"

"I know what I said! I said I'm sorry, I never said that I was acting of my own free will though, that's what _you_ said."

She crossed her arms over her chest, her face paler than usual. "I said no such thing! I said we forgive you. None of us think you should blame yourself, you were possessed! I know it must have been horrible, you suffered enough having to go through that-"

William bounded to his feet, his hands slamming off the floor as he stood up. "Oh like you would know, don't you dare feel pity for me! You have no idea what I went through! Having to watch myself try and kill all of you and not be able to do anything about it! Devirtualizing all of you was one thing, but I _killed_ you, Aelita! I threw you into the digital sea, trapping you on Lyoko forever! That's as good as death! And if it hadn't been for Franz I would have killed you! I tried to kill Yumi, too! Do you have any idea how much pain I was in when I had to watch her suffer? When I had to fight her? And Xana used my affection for her against her, manipulated her, through me! Do you have _any_ idea how that feels?"

The girl stayed silent for many moments before softly standing up and walking over to him. She reached out a hand and put it on his shoulder, but before she could even do so he stepped back and brushed her off. "Actually, William, I have a better idea than the others do. I've been possessed by Xana before, too, you know." Utter shock crossed William's face, and for many moments he found himself unable of replying and forming proper sentences. How could _she_ know? Franz's pampered little princess who had been locked in a tower for ten years? "I've fought Yumi, Odd, and Ulrich while possessed, destroyed the mountain sector, and given myself up to the scyphozoa. We're the only ones who have been possessed, William. I know exactly how you feel. I wish I didn't, but I do, alright? So there. Are you happy that someone can revel in their misery with you? Is that what you've wanted? To know that you aren't the only one suffering? Because you aren't, okay? So stop groveling and get over it. You were possessed, so what? There are bigger issued right now-"

"Like you're daddy issues?"

Aelita didn't say a word. Spun on her heel, walked out of the room, clambered down the stairs, making more noise with each passing step, and continued on down the hall. William stood in the middle of her room, stunned, before running through the door and down the stairs, cringing at the sound of cracking glass beneath his feet.


End file.
